And on I Go, to Another One Who'll Disappoint Me So: Movie Review of "Wanted"

*Fiona Apple

Ok so why do awesome movies have to sabotage themselves with laziness? I went to see Wanted and it was awesome. The stunts made me want to go into the business. I was ready to begin my jiu-jitsu training and advanced driving classes. I mean, i felt like a badass leaving the theatre. The CGI? Awesome. There was only one shot that broke the illusion of reality.

But there was something that I just couldn't get past so as to fully immerse myself in the world of mesmerizing violence and superhuman physical ability. What was that something? The f word. It was used constantly in the beginning and constantly toward the end. Strangely enough, the middle section (where most of the action took place) was nearly devoid of the "hardcore" f-bomb. News flash to Hollywood: Using that word does not make you a badass.

Crutches like this, and gratuitous and extremely graphic sex scenes, encourage me to make this accusation of laziness. It doesn't take the brains of Ernest Hemingway to write f**k 75 times in a script, nor the ability of Steven Spielberg to throw in an unnecessary and disgusting display of meaningless sex intended for nothing more than pure shock value.

So, although James McAvoy is deliciously captivating, and although the ever-gorgeous Angelina Jolie again convinced women everywhere that they too can hang with the boys, I left the theatre disappointed in the "genius" of Hollywood. All the talent and skill from the few who made it out of the legions of those who did not. Wasted. On laziness and apathy.

"In lazy apathy let stoics boast
Their virtue fix'd: 't is fix'd as in a frost;
Contracted all, retiring to the breast;
But strength of mind is exercise, not rest."
-Alexander Pope

There's More to Me than You: How to Deal with a Break-up

*Jessica Andrews

Ok so why is it that we always want to hang onto the jerk who broke our heart? He did something terrible (cheated, ignored, broke up with us for no good reason, etc.) and we cling to him (or his memory), hoping that by some miracle what we once had can come back. Well, that doesn't happen. Sorry. First of all, what you thought you had with him was probably not what you actually had. I like to think of it as two separate relationships. You thought that he thought exactly what you thought about the whole thing. And he didn't.

Now, truth be told, most of the time it's not just one person to blame for the breakdown of the relationship. But at this point, you can't change that. All you can do now is react. You can react like a psycho--filling his voicemail box with pleads to come back, and stalking him and the new dish that's taken your place--or you can react with dignity. We will no longer be considering Option 1. From here on out, I speak only to those interested in Option 2; those who want to become better people for their current circumstances.

Step 1 is this: take some time to evaluate the situation. To do this, you must have time apart from your ex-other half. At the very least, a week. This way you can move past the initial feelings of loneliness and desperation to see clearly what life was like with him then, and what life is like without him now. This is my best piece of advice, pulled from years of painstaking experience. Unfortunately, it's seldom followed due to its difficulty and counterintuitive nature. However, on the positive side, it's the most effective remedy for a broken heart and thus worth the effort.

At this point, I'd like to say that some former couples will make the journey back together, and be happy matches. However, for most people this is an unlikely and, when you really get down to it, undesirable destination. For those in the "most people" category, I say you should be thanking Mr. Not Right for giving you this gift of freedom for some personal growth.

Now, back to Step 1. When I say time apart, I mean total. This means no long conversations rehashing memories of how great things used to be and what led to the crash and burn of your "perfect" union. No time spent--scratch that--wasted listening to your song or looking at pictures that contain his face, or even remind you of his face. Extract him from your conscious, so that you can release yourself from the intoxication of his presence. This is crucial for getting your mind clear enough for rational thought.

Once in this state of clarity, you can begin to discover yourself. Whoever you were before the relationship, and whoever you were in the relationship, you're someone different now. Learn who that someone is. Figure out what you didn't like about this last relationship. What you didn't like about your partner, what you didn't like about yourself. This will give you better guidelines in future matches. Then think about what you did like, or would like. I encourage you to write these things down as a template for subsequent candidates. Such a list can keep you from time endured in a lost cause relationship.

As you sift through the ups and downs of this passed romance, allow yourself to forgive not only your ex-love's grievances, but also your own. Holding grudes can only hurt your path. And you don't want to be carrying excess baggage when you meet the right one. He drives a sports car with very little trunk space.

"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." -M. Kathleen Casey

"The loss of love is not nearly as painful as our resistance to accepting it." -Tigress Luv